“There is no such thing as a perfect parent. So just be a real one.” –Sue Atkins
Remember the time you were counting down the days during pregnancy to see your baby's precious face! The baby comes along and steals our hearts forever! Our world gets filled with love from that moment!
We watch them grow and celebrate their milestones!
Somewhere along the way, we start feeling some resistance - the super cuteness turns into some power struggles and arguments. Wondered why?
We as parents love our kids the most in this whole world! But how much of that love is actually conveyed to them?
Our parents loved us so dearly and wanted the best for us. Still, so many people struggle with childhood wounds that need immense healing. It's not because of a lack of love from parents, but how the love was conveyed.
We enter parenting with really no clue what to expect or how to navigate.
We approach parenting from one of these 2 places:
- Model our parents. Of course, they got it all figured out and they are wiser.
- Contradict our parents if we were hurt as kids.
We create ideal images in our minds and unconsciously operate from those.
From my experience, most parents behave from a place of fear. Fear and concern for their kid's future. We miss something most important when we are super busy worrying about our kid's future. The precious moments with them, which is right now.
Does your kid throw tantrums only with you? Mom to be more specific? Let's be grateful for that!
Sounds crazy, I know. They are letting you know that you are their safe space!! They wouldn't do this to anyone else but you! Consider it a privilege and be with them to understand what's triggering them.
Feeling frustrated at your kids? Time to ask what really triggered you.
We can be honest and speak our truth to our kids about what's bothering us instead of yelling at them. Kids absorb our energy and feelings. Showing we all have our ups and downs and we are safe to express it teaches them everything is ok. All feelings are allowed.
We end up using hurtful words when we try to hide our truth.
Our hurtful words destroy their self-worth and damage their worldview. They don't stop loving us, instead, stop loving themselves!
There's a better way around this. By being fully present with our kids on a moment-to-moment basis, kids show us how they want us to be! They guide us to become the best parents they deserve!
To be fully present with our kids, we need to start loving and accepting our own selves completely. That reduces the emotional triggers we get from the external world. We make peace with ourselves.
It is our responsibility to take care of our minds, so we can be calm and present with our kids. They deserve it more than anyone else.